--- title: "Parenting Conflict Therapy in California · Fanshen Thompson, LCSW" description: "Online couples therapy for parenting conflict in California — return to the couple beneath the co-parents. Berkeley LCSW Fanshen Thompson." lang: en json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": [ "ProfessionalService", "MedicalBusiness", "MedicalClinic" ], "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#business", "name": "Fanshen Thompson, LCSW", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com", "logo": "https://fanshenthompson.com/og.jpg", "image": "https://fanshenthompson.com/og.jpg", "email": "fanshen@fanshenthompson.com", "priceRange": "$$$", "medicalSpecialty": "Mental Health", "address": { "@type": "PostalAddress", "addressLocality": "Berkeley", "addressRegion": "CA", "addressCountry": "US" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "California" }, "contactPoint": { "@type": "ContactPoint", "contactType": "customer service", "email": "fanshen@fanshenthompson.com" }, "founder": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practitioner" }, "employee": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practitioner" }, "openingHoursSpecification": [ { "@type": "OpeningHoursSpecification", "dayOfWeek": [ "Tuesday", "Wednesday", "Thursday", "Friday" ], "opens": "09:00", "closes": "18:00" } ], "sameAs": [ "https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/", "https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212", "https://pin.it/5enxDfD" ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Person", "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practitioner", "name": "Fanshen Thompson", "honorificSuffix": "LCSW", "jobTitle": "Licensed Clinical Social Worker", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com", "image": "https://fanshenthompson.com/og.jpg", "email": "fanshen@fanshenthompson.com", "address": { "@type": "PostalAddress", "addressLocality": "Berkeley", "addressRegion": "CA", "addressCountry": "US" }, "worksFor": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#business" }, "hasCredential": [ { "@type": "EducationalOccupationalCredential", "credentialCategory": "License", "identifier": "LCSW #25004", "recognizedBy": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "California Board of Behavioral Sciences" } } ], "knowsAbout": [ "Couples Therapy", "Relationship Therapy", "Sex Therapy", "Individual Therapy", "Intimacy", "Communication", "Attachment", "Sexual Shame", "Desire Discrepancy" ], "sameAs": [ "https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/", "https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212", "https://pin.it/5enxDfD" ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#website", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com", "name": "Fanshen Thompson, LCSW", "publisher": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#business" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Specialties", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Parenting Conflict", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties/parenting-conflict" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "MedicalTherapy", "name": "Parenting Conflict Therapy with Fanshen Thompson, LCSW", "provider": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practice" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "California" }, "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties/parenting-conflict" }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Specialties", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Parenting Conflict", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties/parenting-conflict" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "speakable": { "@type": "SpeakableSpecification", "cssSelector": [ "h1", ".faq-question", ".faq-answer" ] }, "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "Should we bring the kids to therapy?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Usually not. This is couples work — the kids benefit most when the two of you find your footing again. If a child is struggling and needs their own support, I'll help you think about a referral, but the work I do with you is about you." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "What if we have genuinely opposite parenting philosophies?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Many couples do. Aligned parenting doesn't mean identical parenting — it means trusting each other's competence enough that differences become workable, not threatening. We work toward a shared bottom line and room for individual style above it." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "How do we handle disagreement in front of the kids?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Short answer: take it off-stage when you can, and model repair when you can't. We work on the specific language and timing of how to do both — and how to recover when one of you blows it. Kids learn far more from how parents repair than from never disagreeing." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Do you specialize in blended families?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "I work with blended families as part of couples therapy. The relational and attachment work translates — there are some specific dynamics in step-parenting we address as they show up, but the core work is the couple at the center of the family." } } ] } ] --- [![Fanshen Thompson, LCSW](/assets/logo-mark-DCWEUPFA.png)Fanshen Thompson LCSW ](/) [Home](/)[About](/about) Services Specialties [Approach](/approach)[Notes](/blog)[FAQ](/faq)[Resources](/resources) [Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact#book) SPECIALTY · CALIFORNIA # Therapy for _parenting conflict_ in California. You agree you love your kids. You don't agree on much else around how to raise them. Bedtime, screens, discipline, schools, what to allow, what to forbid — every parenting decision becomes another argument. The kids feel it. The relationship strains under it. The couple you used to be has been gradually replaced by two tired co-parents who keep disagreeing. [Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) Parenting conflict is rarely just about parenting. Underneath the surface fights about screen time and structure are usually attachment differences, family-of-origin patterns, unaddressed resentments, and a couple relationship that hasn't been tended to in years. Kids amplify whatever was already there. I work with couples who love their children and are losing their relationship to the daily friction of raising them. The work returns the focus to the couple first — because kids respond to the relationship's tone far more than they respond to any single parenting strategy. Aligned parenting requires aligned partners. If you're sitting with any of this ## You don't have to keep _living like this._ - Your parenting philosophies feel fundamentally opposite — strict vs. permissive, structured vs. free, anxious vs. unbothered. - The kids have learned to go to the parent more likely to say yes — and you're both aware of it. - You undermine each other in front of the kids, even when you try not to. - You parent solo because it's easier than negotiating every decision with your partner. - You've lost the couple underneath the co-parents. You can't remember the last time you were just the two of you. The Approach ## How I work with _parenting conflict._ Parenting conflict work begins by separating two things that usually get tangled — the parenting decisions themselves, and the relational pattern around how you make them. Most couples have spent years trying to win the parenting debate. We pause that and look at what the fight is actually about. From there we work on the couple. Where has resentment built up? What's gone unsaid? What does each of you carry from your own childhood about what parents are supposed to do? When those threads get named, the daily friction softens — not because you agree on everything, but because you stop fighting through the kids. Aligned parenting isn't identical parenting. It's two adults who trust each other enough to handle differences without sabotage. The goal is a couple the kids can feel — steady, on the same team, even when the strategies vary. That's what regulates a household. ## Common _questions._ ### Should we bring the kids to therapy? ### What if we have genuinely opposite parenting philosophies? ### How do we handle disagreement in front of the kids? ### Do you specialize in blended families? Related specialties ## Where this _connects._ [ Specialty ### Communication Breakdown Explore → ](/specialties/communication-breakdown) [ Specialty ### Anxious Attachment Explore → ](/specialties/anxious-attachment-couples) [ Specialty ### Desire Discrepancy Explore → ](/specialties/desire-discrepancy) Begin ## Asking for help takes courage. Book a free 20-minute consultation to see if working together feels right. [Book a Free Consultation](/contact) ![Fanshen Thompson, LCSW logo](/assets/logo-mark-DCWEUPFA.png) Relationship therapy for people who are ready for real change. Licensed Clinical Social Worker · LCSW #25004 [](https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/971893) Affiliations ![Gesher Community Care affiliate provider](/__l5e/assets-v1/7e4684e6-648d-48d4-892e-5c8678e89c88/gesher-community-care.png) Online Therapy Sessions held via secure video for clients across California. Hours Tue–Fri, 9am–6pm PT Contact [fanshen@fanshenthompson.com](mailto:fanshen@fanshenthompson.com)[Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/)[](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212)[](https://pin.it/5enxDfD) Explore - [About](/about) - [Therapy](/therapy) - [Therapy for Couples](/therapy/couples) - [Therapy for Individuals](/therapy/individuals) - [Sex Therapy](/therapy/sex-therapy) - [Notes](/blog) - [FAQ](/faq) - [Resources](/resources) - [Relationship Therapy in Berkeley](/relationship-therapy-berkeley) - [Find an Online Sex Therapist](/how-to-find-an-online-sex-therapist) - [Contact](/contact) Specialties - [Infidelity & Affair Recovery](/specialties/infidelity-affair-recovery) - [Desire Discrepancy](/specialties/desire-discrepancy) - [Sexual Shame](/specialties/sexual-shame) - [Communication Breakdown](/specialties/communication-breakdown) - [Anxious Attachment](/specialties/anxious-attachment-couples) - [Parenting Conflict](/specialties/parenting-conflict) In crisis? If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call or text [988](tel:988) (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or call [911](tel:911). This site is not a substitute for emergency care. [Privacy](/privacy.html)[Terms](/terms.html)[Cookies](/cookie.html)[Disclosures](/disclaimers.html)[Good Faith Estimate](/good-faith-estimate.html)[Accessibility](/accessibility)[Cookie Settings](/cookie.html) Contacting this practice does not establish a therapist–client relationship. Individual outcomes vary. Nothing on this site guarantees a specific clinical result. © 2026 Fanshen Thompson, LCSW. All rights reserved. Photography by Allison Busch Website by [Automaus.ai](https://automaus.ai) Your privacy matters Functional cookies are required. Analytics and marketing cookies are off by default — you choose. 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