--- title: "Sexual Shame Therapy in California · Fanshen Thompson, LCSW" description: "Online therapy for sexual shame in California — religious, cultural, and trauma-rooted shame around desire, body, and intimacy. Berkeley LCSW Fanshen Thompson." lang: en json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": [ "ProfessionalService", "MedicalBusiness", "MedicalClinic" ], "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#business", "name": "Fanshen Thompson, LCSW", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com", "logo": "https://fanshenthompson.com/og.jpg", "image": "https://fanshenthompson.com/og.jpg", "email": "fanshen@fanshenthompson.com", "priceRange": "$$$", "medicalSpecialty": "Mental Health", "address": { "@type": "PostalAddress", "addressLocality": "Berkeley", "addressRegion": "CA", "addressCountry": "US" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "California" }, "contactPoint": { "@type": "ContactPoint", "contactType": "customer service", "email": "fanshen@fanshenthompson.com" }, "founder": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practitioner" }, "employee": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practitioner" }, "openingHoursSpecification": [ { "@type": "OpeningHoursSpecification", "dayOfWeek": [ "Tuesday", "Wednesday", "Thursday", "Friday" ], "opens": "09:00", "closes": "18:00" } ], "sameAs": [ "https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/", "https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212", "https://pin.it/5enxDfD" ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Person", "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practitioner", "name": "Fanshen Thompson", "honorificSuffix": "LCSW", "jobTitle": "Licensed Clinical Social Worker", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com", "image": "https://fanshenthompson.com/og.jpg", "email": "fanshen@fanshenthompson.com", "address": { "@type": "PostalAddress", "addressLocality": "Berkeley", "addressRegion": "CA", "addressCountry": "US" }, "worksFor": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#business" }, "hasCredential": [ { "@type": "EducationalOccupationalCredential", "credentialCategory": "License", "identifier": "LCSW #25004", "recognizedBy": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "California Board of Behavioral Sciences" } } ], "knowsAbout": [ "Couples Therapy", "Relationship Therapy", "Sex Therapy", "Individual Therapy", "Intimacy", "Communication", "Attachment", "Sexual Shame", "Desire Discrepancy" ], "sameAs": [ "https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/", "https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212", "https://pin.it/5enxDfD" ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#website", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com", "name": "Fanshen Thompson, LCSW", "publisher": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#business" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Specialties", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Sexual Shame", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties/sexual-shame" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "MedicalTherapy", "name": "Sexual Shame Therapy with Fanshen Thompson, LCSW", "provider": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practice" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "California" }, "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties/sexual-shame" }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Specialties", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Sexual Shame", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/specialties/sexual-shame" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "speakable": { "@type": "SpeakableSpecification", "cssSelector": [ "h1", ".faq-question", ".faq-answer" ] }, "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "Is sex therapy the same as couples therapy?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "They overlap. I integrate sex therapy into couples and individual work rather than treating it as a separate track. If sexual shame is the primary thing you're bringing in, that's where we focus — but it sits inside the broader relational and emotional work, not apart from it." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Can I do this work individually, without my partner?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Yes. A lot of sexual shame work is individual — it lives in your own body and history. Partner work can deepen it when you're ready, but you don't need a partner present to begin." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "What if my partner doesn't want to come to therapy?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "That's common, and it doesn't stop the work. You can do individual sexual shame work and bring shifts back into the relationship as you make them. Many partners become curious once they see the work isn't about them being 'the problem.'" } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "How private is this work?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Everything you share is confidential within the standard legal and ethical limits I'm required to follow as an LCSW. Sex and sexuality conversations are held with the same care and discretion as anything else in therapy — and we move only as fast as feels safe." } } ] } ] --- [![Fanshen Thompson, LCSW](/assets/logo-mark-DCWEUPFA.png)Fanshen Thompson LCSW ](/) [Home](/)[About](/about) Services Specialties [Approach](/approach)[Notes](/blog)[FAQ](/faq)[Resources](/resources) [Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact#book) SPECIALTY · CALIFORNIA # Therapy for _sexual shame_ in California. Many people carry messages about sexuality they didn't choose — from religious upbringing, family silence, culture, past relationships, or experiences of harm. These messages live in the body and shape how desire, pleasure, and intimacy feel long after the original context is gone. [Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) Working with sexual shame isn't about overriding old messages with new 'positive' ones. It's about understanding where they came from, what they were once protecting, and what becomes possible when they soften. Shame doesn't dissolve through argument — it eases through attention, slowness, and the experience of being met without judgment. I work with individuals and couples carrying sexual shame — religious, cultural, trauma-rooted, or simply absorbed from a culture that rarely talks honestly about bodies. There's no rushing this work, and there's no one 'unshamed' end state. There's just a steadier, more honest relationship with desire, your body, and the people you choose to be close to. If you're sitting with any of this ## You don't have to keep _living like this._ - Pleasure is followed by a flash of shame, guilt, or wanting to disappear. - You can't ask for what you want — the words won't come, or saying them feels dangerous. - You feel 'wrong' about your body, your desires, or what you're drawn to. - Sexual desire itself feels dangerous, dirty, or like something to manage rather than enjoy. - Your partner's desire can feel threatening, intrusive, or activating in ways neither of you understand. The Approach ## How I work with _sexual shame._ Shame work moves slowly and body-first. We don't start with 'why' — we start with what's actually happening in your body when desire arises, when intimacy is invited, when you imagine asking for something. The story comes later. The nervous system speaks first. From there, we examine origins without judgment — what you absorbed, who you absorbed it from, what it was once protecting you from. This isn't blaming a religion or a family. It's understanding the architecture of your particular shame so it stops being a mystery operating in the dark. The work isn't 'overcoming' shame. It's building consent capacity — with yourself first, then with a partner. It's integrating the parts of you that learned shame with the parts that want connection. Over time the grip loosens, and a more chosen relationship with your sexuality becomes possible. ## Common _questions._ ### Is sex therapy the same as couples therapy? ### Can I do this work individually, without my partner? ### What if my partner doesn't want to come to therapy? ### How private is this work? Related specialties ## Where this _connects._ [ Specialty ### Desire Discrepancy Explore → ](/specialties/desire-discrepancy) [ Specialty ### Anxious Attachment Explore → ](/specialties/anxious-attachment-couples) [ Specialty ### Infidelity Recovery Explore → ](/specialties/infidelity-affair-recovery) Begin ## Asking for help takes courage. Book a free 20-minute consultation to see if working together feels right. [Book a Free Consultation](/contact) ![Fanshen Thompson, LCSW logo](/assets/logo-mark-DCWEUPFA.png) Relationship therapy for people who are ready for real change. Licensed Clinical Social Worker · LCSW #25004 [](https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/971893) Affiliations ![Gesher Community Care affiliate provider](/__l5e/assets-v1/7e4684e6-648d-48d4-892e-5c8678e89c88/gesher-community-care.png) Online Therapy Sessions held via secure video for clients across California. Hours Tue–Fri, 9am–6pm PT Contact [fanshen@fanshenthompson.com](mailto:fanshen@fanshenthompson.com)[Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/)[](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212)[](https://pin.it/5enxDfD) Explore - [About](/about) - [Therapy](/therapy) - [Therapy for Couples](/therapy/couples) - [Therapy for Individuals](/therapy/individuals) - [Sex Therapy](/therapy/sex-therapy) - [Notes](/blog) - [FAQ](/faq) - [Resources](/resources) - [Relationship Therapy in Berkeley](/relationship-therapy-berkeley) - [Find an Online Sex Therapist](/how-to-find-an-online-sex-therapist) - [Contact](/contact) Specialties - [Infidelity & Affair Recovery](/specialties/infidelity-affair-recovery) - [Desire Discrepancy](/specialties/desire-discrepancy) - [Sexual Shame](/specialties/sexual-shame) - [Communication Breakdown](/specialties/communication-breakdown) - [Anxious Attachment](/specialties/anxious-attachment-couples) - [Parenting Conflict](/specialties/parenting-conflict) In crisis? If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call or text [988](tel:988) (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or call [911](tel:911). This site is not a substitute for emergency care. [Privacy](/privacy.html)[Terms](/terms.html)[Cookies](/cookie.html)[Disclosures](/disclaimers.html)[Good Faith Estimate](/good-faith-estimate.html)[Accessibility](/accessibility)[Cookie Settings](/cookie.html) Contacting this practice does not establish a therapist–client relationship. Individual outcomes vary. Nothing on this site guarantees a specific clinical result. © 2026 Fanshen Thompson, LCSW. All rights reserved. Photography by Allison Busch Website by [Automaus.ai](https://automaus.ai) Your privacy matters Functional cookies are required. Analytics and marketing cookies are off by default — you choose. 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