Connect More Deeply With Yourself & Others
Holistic, Mindful Therapy for Parents, Couples, and Individuals
Based in the Bay Area, Available Online throughout California
Rachel’s life has changed since having a child.
She was sure that when she had children, she would do things differently than her parents had.
She would work tirelessly to provide her kids with everything she didn’t have. Making sure they were nourished in every way possible; healthy meals, a variety of activities to stimulate them, and all the love and snuggles they could handle
But since becoming a parent, she frequently feels overwhelmed and easily snaps at her children. It’s like she never does enough for them. She compares herself to other parents and feels like she’s not measuring up.
She has trouble recognizing herself or her partner anymore.
After a long day dealing with work and childcare, Rachel and her partner hardly ever talk about things outside the logistics of their lives. They rarely have any fun together lately and almost never connect intimately.
Misunderstandings are becoming more and more common, and it’s as though they exist on different wavelengths.
She’s constantly exhausted and, in the process of caring for everyone else’s needs, has forgotten about her own.
Justin & Emily can barely remember what it was like before they had kids.
They met in college, and things progressed quickly. They both knew they wanted children and a family, but didn’t talk much about what they envisioned once it happened.
While they knew that having kids would change things, they found it shocking just how little time, space, and energy they have for their relationship.
They rarely have sex anymore. They wish they could be intimate, but it’s hard to imagine ever carving out the necessary emotional or physical space.
The children’s needs always seem to come before their own.
The tension between Justin and Emily ebbs and flows, but the relationship never seems to be the priority. The kids always come first.
They’re only trying to be the best parents they can be, but neglecting themselves and each other is causing resentment to build.
They each feel desperately alone much of the time, but it seems impossible to make a change.
Amber can’t imagine ever being in another relationship.
She feels like she never picks the right partner. The last relationship was just a series of arguments, one after another.
She never felt seen, heard, or understood, and she’s begun to wonder if this pattern is inevitable.
It feels like she has been alone for so long now that she’s started to give up hope she’ll ever find anyone.
“What is wrong with me?” she wonders.
She sees people around her flourishing in relationships, settling down with children, and creating lives together. But it feels like this will never be an option for her.
Amber wonders if her lifelong self-doubt, insecurity, and anxiety are making things worse.
If only there were some way to learn to love herself, but she has no clue how to.
Hi, I am Fanshen.
I help single people, parents, and couples struggling with feelings of disconnection in their relationships.
Using a host of mind-body awareness tools combined with mindfulness practices, self-compassion, and the Gottman Method, we’ll create a plan specifically for you.
Together, we’ll help you learn to navigate conflict and overcome emotional triggers by developing a deeper connection to yourself and each other.
Through our work, you’ll grow more aware of your feelings, wants, and needs and learn how to better communicate them to others. As you begin to accept yourself more fully, you’ll be able to cultivate a sense of confidence, clarity, and ease in life.
It’s time to start living the life of connection you deserve. Get in touch now, and let’s get started.
You may wonder, “So how does therapy work?”
From a young age we tend to manage our feelings in three different ways:
Suppression / Repression
Stuffing away, setting aside, or avoiding altogether, often without awareness it is happening.
Expression
Usually comes out in the form of anger toward other people, and…
Escape
Overusing substances, social media, workaholism, etc.
We carry around a huge accumulation of negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about ourselves and then when something happens that reminds us of one of those things, we react as if the thing is happening again, rather than staying present with what is actually happening in that moment.
It ends up causing us a great deal of unnecessary stress, anxiety, ordinary loneliness, or distress in our lives and makes us feel disconnected from ourselves and others. After years of doing this, we have accumulated a lot of muck, as I call it.
This muck interferes with our ability to see things clearly in front of us – to trust ourselves – so we end up seeing our experiences, interactions with others, and our internal experience through the lens of this muck.
It’s a cloudy lens and interferes with our ability to be our authentic selves and often makes relationships, work, and life more challenging and makes us feel less connected to who we truly are.
I will help you start to clear that muck and find your way home, to you. This begins with starting to feel your feelings when they happen, rather than suppressing, expressing, or escaping from them.
To learn more about the ways I can help you clear that muck and learn how to manage feelings better, visit my How I Work page.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change.”
— Carl Rogers, American Psychologist
How We Can Work Together
Therapy for Single People
Therapy for Couples
Therapy for Parents
Therapy for Loneliness
Therapy for Professionals
Groups & Workshops
Rachel began to recognize, through therapy, that she was not alone. She learned that part of being a new parent is letting go of her old identity and becoming something new and perhaps even stronger than before. She started to slow down and tune in to her own needs – not putting herself before the kids but with them. Now, when that self-critical voice pops up, she’s able to lovingly quiet it.
Justin and Emily got in touch, and together we explored what sparked their love in the first place. They remembered how they used to be friends and began to unpack how this had changed since the kids came along. It wasn’t always easy, but through therapy, they began to listen to one another again and now are forging a path together toward the life they want.
Amber reached out to me, and we began working together in therapy. She learned mindfulness techniques to slow down her thoughts and be more present in each moment. As she started focusing more on the positives of her life, she developed greater compassion and self-love, even when things felt difficult. Now she is dating again and hopeful for the future.
Find the support you need and deserve.
I helped the clients above start living more rewarding lives. And I can help you, too.
Don’t wait another moment feeling disconnected from yourself and others. Call me now!
Asking for help takes courage.
I encourage you to honor that brave part of you right now that is curious about how things could be better; that trusts yourself enough to know that life has more to offer you.
I will help you find another way to BE, not just help you cope better.