Online Couples Therapy in California
Create a relationship that feels safe, supportive, and deeply connected—where intimacy, trust, and emotional closeness can be restored — or built for the very first time.
You don't have to keep living like this.
You don't have to keep living like this.
You're stuck in the same patterns — and no matter how much you talk, nothing actually shifts.
You feel like you're talking in circles, or not really being heard.
Small things turn into big arguments — or things never get addressed at all.
You're carrying resentment, but don't know how to move through it.
You miss feeling close, connected, and desired.
You've read all the books — tried to implement tools — but still no change.
You love your partner — but don't feel as connected as you used to.
Part of you wonders, 'Is this just how it's going to be?'
You know something needs to really change — but you don't know how to make it actually happen.
That's where this work begins.
Most people try to create change by focusing on their partner — what they're doing, not doing, or need to do differently. But real, lasting change happens when you shift the focus back to yourself.
What you'll begin to experience.
Understand what's beneath the conflict
Stop repeating the same painful cycles and begin to soften toward each other.
Recognize your triggers
Learn to pause, stay grounded, and respond in a way that creates connection instead of distance.
Shift out of survival patterns
Move back into partnership, so your relationship becomes something you actively nurture again.
Access what you're truly feeling
Express it honestly, even when it feels vulnerable or risky.
Reconnect with yourself
Show up more fully, clearly, and authentically underneath the hurt.
Open honest conversations about intimacy
Deepen this part of your relationship rather than avoiding or disconnecting from it.
Three paths in. One destination.
Hi, I'm Fanshen.
I'm a Berkeley-based relationship and sex therapist helping California couples and individuals move out of disconnection and into real, lasting change.
My work focuses on shifting the patterns that keep you stuck — so you can communicate differently, reconnect more deeply, and create a relationship that truly feels good to be in.
I bring a grounded, compassionate presence to this process, supporting you through honest conversations and meaningful change.
You don't have to navigate this alone.
LCSW #25004 · Licensed in California · 10+ years of practice
We came to Fanshen at one of the toughest moments in our marriage, unsure if we would make it another year. Through all of our sessions — love, understanding, forgiveness, and growth flourished.
The feeling of this work.
Quiet, grounded, honest. Below are visual anchors of what our space together feels like.
The feeling of this work.
Not what therapy looks like — what it feels like.
The slow exhale of being understood.
A quiet question that opens something.
Sitting with what's been hard to say.
I absolutely work with all kinds of relationships:
- Married
- Partnered
- Dating
- Gay
- Straight
- Monogamous
- Non-monogamous
However, I have a humanist approach, meaning I don't specialize in any one of those areas. In my experience, my approach applies to any and all humans. If you're looking for a specialist in one of those areas, I might not be the right fit for you.
Couples or individual — which fits you?
Couples Therapy
For partners ready to do honest work together.
- Weekly 50, 75, or 90-min sessions
- Online via secure video
- For couples ready to repair, reconnect, and grow
- Open-ended, at the pace that's right for you
- California residents
Individual Therapy
One-on-one work for relational growth.
- Weekly 45-min sessions
- One-on-one, online via secure video
- For relational patterns, intimacy, and growth
- Whether or not your partner is involved
- California residents
In a 20-minute consultation.
In our 20-minute video call, you'll have a chance to share what's bringing you here, and I will share a little bit about how my approach might work to support your situation. We'll then determine if working together is a good fit.
Before we begin.
A few of the questions I hear most. The full list lives on the FAQ page.
See all questions →Yes. I see clients online anywhere in California, via secure video.
Asking for help takes courage.
There's a part of you that knows — love can feel lighter, and life can feel better. Trust that part. When you do, I'll help you uncover what's beneath the surface, so lasting healing and deeper connection can take root.
Occasional letters — never spam.
Please join my email list for occasional tips and resources about relationships, as well as updates about my new offerings.