Notes

Writing on therapy, intimacy, and the inner life of relationship.

Slow essays for people doing the work.

May 11, 2026 · 4 min read

The Hard — and Most Important — Work for a Healthy Relationship

Differentiation — the ability to stay yourself while staying present with your partner — is the skill that turns repeated fights into real connection. Here's how it works and why it matters.

Couples

April 12, 2026 · 6 min read

What Couples Therapy Actually Looks Like

If you've never been to couples therapy, the idea can feel intimidating. Here's what to expect from the first session onward.

Practice

March 22, 2026 · 5 min read

The Difference Between Therapy and Coaching

Therapy and coaching can look similar from the outside. They are very different inside.

Sex Therapy

February 8, 2026 · 7 min read

Desire After Long-Term Partnership

The drop in desire that happens in long relationships is not a failure. It's a feature of how attachment and arousal interact.