ABOUT
You’re feeling stuck in your relationship, misunderstood, or like you’re drifting apart.
I want you to know: there is a way back.
You don’t have to do this alone, and you don’t have to wait years for change.
Together, we can begin now.
We all have parts of us that developed over our lifespan, and most often from our younger years, that once served as protective mechanisms, but as we have gotten older begin to interfere with our relationships.
A common one is our need to defend ourselves when we feel misunderstood. But in relationships, this often leads to a repetitive cycle of fighting and misunderstandings, rather than closeness and connection.
As begin to understand these patterns, we can start to soften and become more vulnerable and open to our partners, creating connection and closeness.
My work is not about blaming, fixing, or deciding who’s right — it’s about uncovering what’s really happening underneath, and finding new ways to connect that feel safe, authentic, and real.
“Fanshen’s approach is warm, individualized, efficient and effective. She is able to listen critically and respond with actionable, but manageable steps that make you feel empowered and not overwhelmed. She also is excellent at observing non-verbal communications, which may be particularly difficult for others in remote sessions. Each of those skills allow her to expertly adjust her suggestions to address my individual needs at that time, but that work towards my overall goals.”
— Previous client
How I work
My approach is both intuitive and practical.
I don’t shy away from conflict or intensity — there’s nothing you can bring into our sessions that I can’t sit with. At the same time, I’ll gently redirect you back to yourself, so instead of staying stuck in “they need to change,” you discover the power of “what can I do differently to bring us closer?”
Through this process, couples move from disconnection and overwhelm to self-awareness, emotional regulation, and genuine connection.
Many of my clients feel a shift after just one session — lighter, clearer, more hopeful. Over time, those small breakthroughs grow into lasting change.
A Blended Approach
In addition to my intuitive way of working, drawn from years of experience, I weave together elements of the Gottman Method and Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples, Polyvagal Theory (nervous system work), and Parts Work (which helps us see the parts of us acting to protect, but no longer serving us) for both Couples and Individuals.
This unique blend allows me to ground our work in the present moment while honoring that we all carry old wounds. These wounds — and the stress of our relationships — shape our nervous systems, and when we bring awareness, care, and healing to them, real transformation becomes possible.
A Little About Me
I’m Fanshen, a licensed therapist and relationship coach based in California. Beyond my professional work, I’m a partner, a parent, and a human always learning how to navigate love, family, and connection myself. My work, my life and relationships continue to teach me what it means to show up with honesty, care, and courage — and I bring that same spirit into my work with every couple and individual I see. While I take you and this work seriously, trust me there will be some laughter as well.
I hold a BA in Early Childhood Development + Culture from Mills College and a Masters in Social Work from San Francisco State University.
I obtained my license as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in 2008 and have been registered with the California Board of Behavioral Services since then (LCSW #25004).